Getting separated and your overall well being

Getting separated is difficult, no matter the circumstances -- your idea, his, or somewhere in between.…
Getting separated and your overall well being
Foto: Photo by Craig Loftus via CCL

Getting separated is difficult, no matter the circumstances — your idea, his, or somewhere in between. It’s a place you had hoped you would never be, but here you are thinking about it or actually going through with it. It’s a lot to take in, and either way you’ve got a lot to think about, but giving yourself the time and space to process your emotions in a healthy way is imperative to making the right decisions in the long run.

Top 5 Stressors

The demise of a relationship or the possibility of one has been ranked up there in the top 5 stressors human beings experience in life, so it’s especially important to take care of yourself when getting separated. How you handle this right now will inevitably dictate the state of your physical and mental health and well being in the foreseeable future and will take its toll on you if you’re not careful, so be aware and be proactive. Getting enough food and adequate rest can’t be stressed enough. This, and ensuring you’re getting the proper vitamins through a well-balanced diet can go a long way towards keeping your immune system in check and help with emotional stability. Studies have shown that eating cold-water fish can help with outlook and depression. Yogurt cultures are also good for your immune system.

Stay Active

Staying active when you’re getting separated goes hand in hand with eating right and getting enough sleep. Keep in touch with friends and family. Get out and exercise as much as possible. Getting enough exercise is not only good for you physically, but it’s a great way to clear your mind and is proven to improve sleep patterns. Take up something you’ve always wanted to do like yoga or pilates where breathing and stretching exercises come into play, or meditation. Being able to find a Zen-like happy place could serve you well in the weeks and months to come. Consider taking an art class or volunteering with a group or an organization that is near and dear to your heart. Whatever you decide to do, just do it!

Isolation Blues

One of the worst things you can possibly do to yourself when getting separated or after separating is to isolate yourself. This can’t be stressed enough. Resist the urge to curl up in a ball and lick your wounds. Of course you need some time to yourself to sort things out in your own head, but cutting yourself off from the rest of the world during emotionally painful times is just a bad idea. Before you know it, you’re not returning phone calls, checking your mail, or watering the plants. Next stop is giving up altogether on shaving your legs, brushing your teeth, and combing your hair on weekends, and then you’re just a stone’s throw away from ceasing to bathe regularly and jeopardizing your job. Depression will wreak havoc on your life if left unchecked.

Reality Check

Getting separated is a reality check of sorts, and the ability to remain positive throughout the ordeal will assist you in your decision making processes. Remember, this is nothing to go into lightly, and you’ll want to make the right decisions with a clear head — not one clouded by the cobwebs of depression or through rose-colored glasses. Sit down and make a list of the pros and cons of your relationship with your husband and that of a new life without him, if need be. Sometimes seeing things on paper for what they really are has a way of opening your eyes to the realities of your situation.