Sex fantasies: Are they wrong?

Who hasn’t woken up from a steamy dream that includes Antonio Banderas? In most women’s opinions, the only downside is having to wake up at all. But what happens when your thoughts turn to him or any other hunk when you’re in bed with your partner? Is there ever anything wrong with sex fantasies starring your favorite Latin lover? The answer appears to be “no.” Sexual fantasies are a healthy and normal part of being human, and you shouldn’t be ashamed or disturbed by them. They’re harmless and just your mind’s way of safely exploring the unknown.

So, you and your partner are in the throes of passion when suddenly you find your mind wandering to someone else. This can be quite unsettling the first time it happens and can lead you to question your mind’s motives. Does this mean you’re not happy in your relationship or that he’s not fulfilling all of your sexual needs? Of course not! Occasionally drifting into a sex fantasy that doesn’t involve your man is not at all uncommon and is no cause for concern. It doesn’t mean you love him any less, and you’re definitely not cheating. He does it himself. On the other hand, if you find yourself doing it more often than not, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

Secret sex fantasies are often your inner voice expressing its desire to branch out and try new and unusual things that you might not have the courage to ever speak about or try with your partner for fear of being rejected or thought of as weird or kinky. Unless they’re really out there, it’s doubtful they’ll be met with much resistance. Men love sexual fantasies that they can take part in with you, and they’re super turned on by the thought that you have them at all. You know the old saying about having June Cleaver in the kitchen and Madonna in bed? If you’re too timid to speak up and address your needs, you’ll never have them met. So, take a chance and let him know about your wildest desires and see where they lead you.

Only you know your man well enough to answer this question, but more than likely, he’s up for just about anything. You may want to start revealing your sex fantasies to him a little at a time until you get over the uneasiness of having voiced them at all. Nothing says you have to do them right then and there. Give yourself time to adjust to the notion of actually experiencing them if it makes you nervous at first — unless you’re afraid you’ll chicken out. If your fantasy involves role playing or pain, it’s good to establish a safe word that you both agree on if you feel the need to get out of the situation instantly.

There are tons of toys and accessories available for you to choose from if you want to go the extra yard and play dress up. Adult stores have come a long way over the years — they’re not the seedy porn shops of yesteryear. If you’re up for it, ask your partner to come with you. He’ll probably enjoy it, and it may lead to all sorts of pleasant surprises. Once you start feeling comfortable enough to trust your secrets with him, you may be surprised at the sex fantasies he’s been harboring that he’s now comfortable enough to share with you.