5 tips to deal with intimacy issues

Mutual care, feelings of togetherness, and respect for the other person, are important characteristics of intimacy. If you have intimacy issues in your relationship this could have a negative impact on your marriage. These five tips will help you to deal with the lack of intimacy, and improve the bonds in your relationship.

An essential ingredient to intimacy is communication, so strive to build an honest, open communication channel with your spouse. This means more than just sharing facts and opinions, you have to be able to express your deepest thoughts and feelings with each other. This means that you have to create place in your relationship where you can feel vulnerable, and yet safe, so you communicate what is in your heart.

Speaking and listening openly are both essential in communication. Be sure to actively listen to your spouse. Let him feel that his concerns are not just heard, but understood. Through the verbal and nonverbal cues you give as your spouse speaks, you can assure him that you understand his point of view. As you speak openly about the things that are important to both of you, you become more attuned to each other’s need, and the shared intimacy deepens.

You might need to overcome your own fear of forming close relationships, which could be a result of early life experiences. This could be related to childhood issues of abandonment, and now you don’t want to risk being rejected when you share intimacy with your spouse. An understanding of the needs and motivations underlying your intimacy issues could help you to deal with your fears of getting closer.

Renew your commitment to each other, reaffirm your determination to stick together and make your relationship work. You can then accept your differences, and accept responsibility for your own actions. With a higher level of mutual commitment in your marriage, it is likely that you will both be more willing to deal with the intimacy issues you face. Take time to build your relationship, be patient, and respond in a supportive way to each other.

It is important that you show your spouse that you appreciate and accept him. Show respect in the way you treat each other when there is conflict. Resist the temptation to speak harshly, or in a demeaning and judgmental way to your spouse. Instead, listen to each other, and seek to validate each other as you share your perspectives. You are then able to work out your differences in a mutually satisfactory manner, and build intimacy.

You might need individual or couple’s therapy to deal with your intimacy issues. Therapy will help you to gain greater understanding of the issues underlying the problem. It could also help you to avoid misunderstandings, through learning effective ways to build intimacy in your relationship.