This skill is what could make or break your diet

Tough love comes to mind when people think about dieting; make sure you have the will-power to stick with your diet or why even start it at all? Right? Well, as it turns out, there is an important personal skill you need to have, according to the latest research, and it goes against the traditional belief that being hard on yourself is the only way to reach your weight loss goal.

What’s the skill? It’s self-compassion, or the ability to forgive yourself when you eat emotionally or break away from your diet a little. According to research published in the journal Health Psychology, people who have self-compassion are better able to adapt to their emotions and not deal with things like eating an extra cookie in a negative way.

SEE ALSO: How to control food cravings

Self-compassion is a type of eating awareness which instructs the individual to adopt an “I’ll do better next time” approach rather than a “I’ve ruined my diet” approach. According to a report on Psychology Today, viewing diet indiscretions negatively leads to a negative mindset and ultimately self-defeating activities. Someone who has an extra cookie may immediately consider their entire day of dieting to be pointless, and that single cookie turns into four or five other snacks and an ignored exercise session.

Don’t have the ability to practice self-compassion with yourself?

Try bringing your friends into the mix. Oftentimes people are more compassionate toward others. If you need positive dieting support, make sure you don’t go the path alone. Friends can encourage you to forget about the two muffins you had for breakfast and will make sure you don’t skip out on the nightly jog. What’s more, offering them encouraging words will make you more likely to forgive yourself when you indulge a little too much.

Don’t be too lenient

While self-compassion is important, it’s not an excuse to abandon willpower. Convincing yourself an extra cookie is okay is fine, but convincing yourself that an extra cookie after every meal of the week is fine might not be in your best interests. Calories do add up surprisingly fast; if you have a diet plan, stick to it. Just make sure you don’t beat yourself over the head for stealing a piece of chocolate on a particularly stressful day.

SEE ALSO: 8 foods that actually make you hungrier

Need a few tips on how to forgive yourself?

First, don’t toss out the entire day for one diet mistake. It may be tempting to throw in the towel and say “I’ll just start my diet tomorrow,” but the truth is that there is plenty you can do with your day to make it beneficial. If you’re worried about an extra-large portion at lunch, just make sure you do a little more exercise in the evening.

Don’t, however, push make-up deals to another day. It’s easy to say, “I ate a whole pizza today, but I’ll run an extra lap tomorrow,” but what you really need to do is say, “I ate a whole pizza today, I’ll go run an extra lap tonight.” Pushing something off only makes you less likely to do it. Remember, it’s okay to forgive yourself, but don’t let yourself slack off. The key is to have an equal mix of forgiveness and determination.