How to deal with a selfish husband

It seems that your husband is more focused on his own needs and interests than sharing a mutually satisfying relationship with you. Your husband’s attitude and behavior could leave you frustrated and unhappy. But don’t allow resentment to destroy your marriage, use these five tips to help you deal with a selfish husband.

Improve yourself

Begin by becoming more aware of your own thoughts, feelings, needs, and actions. Are you emotionally dependent on your husband and always craving his attention and validation? This could have a negative impact on your relationship with your husband when your expectations are not met.

As you become more self-aware, use the insights to enhance your self-confidence and improve yourself. Boost your self-esteem by setting specific goals, develop a positive vision for your life and work towards achieving them. This could improve your relationship with your husband, as you now relate to him in a confident less dependent way. He is likely begin to behave less selfishly as he recognizes your true worth.

Forgive your spouse

Strive to forgive your husband and let go of your resentment. There are three things that may help you to forgive your husband. The first is that you are not perfect, so don’t expect perfection from your husband. The second is that when you don’t forgive, you hurt twice through the pain of your husband’s selfishness and your own resentment. Thirdly, forgiveness frees you to act in a loving manner, and your husband is more likely to respond to this love because it is not forced or pretentious.

Promote good communication

Keep the communication channels between you and your husband open. Without effective communication, it is possible that your spouse does not realize that he is being selfish. So become assertive and learn to communicate your feelings and needs effectively. Complaining will not solve the problem of your huband’s selfishness. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to express your needs. “I” statements tend to be less judgemental, and this is likely to break down your husband’s defenses, and he will listen to you.

Appreciate your spouse

Be patient with your husband as he learns how to give more in your relationship. Praise him when he makes an effort, even in small ways, to be less selfish, then, he is more likely to improve and make being helpful a habit. Appreciate your spouse for his good qualities and do not allow the negative qualities to overshadow them. Let him know you love him through your words and actions.

Seek marriage counseling

You might need to see a trained marriage therapist to help you to deal with your husband’s selfishness. Counseling could help you understand the underlying reasons for his behavior, and so you would be better able to deal with it. It could also help your husband to become aware of his own attitude and its impact on your marriage. This could lead him to take steps that could improve how he relates to you, and in the end enhance your relationship.