Psychology: The instinctual reason men are more likely to tip females

There’s no secret reason why men are more likely to tip waitresses as opposed to waiters. If you’re thinking it all has to do with attraction you’re right, though there are other reasons why someone may be given a generous tip. When it comes to men and women, however, studies show men usually feel more generous towards a female, but the same cannot be said when the roles are reversed.

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In fact, women are no more or less likely to be generous when dealing with a male, regardless of his physical attractiveness, according to research. So why is it that men are hardwired to be more generous to the opposite sex, especially if that individual is sexually attractive?

Nigel Barber, Ph.D., of Psychology Today explains it all has to do with instinct and a primitive mating behavior still witnessed among other creatures in the animal kingdom.

“There is a basic grammar of courtship in birds where the male offers a gift to the female, such as a bit of food, or a piece of nesting material,” wrote Barber. “If the gift is satisfactory, the pair moves on to the next phase of bonding. This grammar also influences men’s willingness to donate to women, even in an era of gender equality.”

This courtship behavior is still the norm in societies around the world, even when women are just as likely to pick up the tab as are men. For men, the hard wiring in the brain says that giving a gift–like a generous tip–is a way to diffuse potential female aggression, just like the male bird giving a nesting gift to a potential mate. It is also a way for men to inadvertently say “I’m stable enough to pay for this, and therefore stable enough to date.”

Even slight adjustments in a woman’s appearance could improve a man’s generosity, according to research released from The Journal of Hospitality Management. According to the study, men gave better tips to waitresses with full faces of makeup, despite research that suggests men think women wear too much makeup overall. The color of that makeup also had an impact. In a separate study from Université de Bretagne-Sud, experts found women wearing red lipstick traditionally received higher tips compared to women wearing any other shade of lip color.

But before girlfriends and wives get angry about a man leaving a generous tip for a waitress, it is important to know many of these behaviors are subconscious. Just because a man is generous toward a woman doesn’t mean he is actively seeking her attention.

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People in general also give large tips when they are highly satisfied with service or want to bestow a random act of kindness on a stranger. These situations often result in significant over-tipping, however, not just the generous end of what society considers appropriate. Large tips, for example, are common around the holidays, particularly for women, who are still unfairly considered less likely to provide for themselves than men.

“When a man is served by an attractive waitress, he is rather unlikely to strike up a romantic relationship with her,” concluded Barber. “Even so, her income will improve by dressing sexily. As the English researchers said, “Good deeds among men increase when presented with the opportunity to copulate.”

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