Drifting apart: What it means for your relationship

If you believe that you both do not connect anymore, you might reevaluate your relationship.

At the end of the day, you and your mate have to understand why you have drifted apart.

At the end of the day, you and your mate have to understand why you have drifted apart. Crédito: www.flickr.com

When we find love, we hold onto it with both hands and assume that it will last forever. As the relationship grows, the furthest thought from our minds is the possibility of its demise. However, for many couples, the romantic dynamic can change, and when it does, it often leaves anger, sadness, confusion, and even indifference in its wake.

One of the more subtle manifestations of a struggling partnership occurs when two people involved grow apart. Because of the busy lives we lead, drifting apart is frequently blamed on work obligations or child rearing when, in reality, these reasons are just excuses to not deal with the issue at hand.

For this reason, when we emotionally drift from our significant other, sometimes we do not even recognize it immediately. If you believe that you and your loved one do not connect anymore, that your situation has deteriorated in certain ways, and that your lives seem to be on different paths, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship and decide if it is worth saving or not. The first step is to talk about your concerns with your partner.

You can either carve out a special time, when the kids are in bed and the workday is over, or set aside an evening out where you can talk privately over a coffee or glass of wine. You want to make sure that you are both relaxed, levelheaded, and alone when this conversation transpires, as the future of your relationship depends on the two of you being straightforward and honest. Drifting apart implies that you can also drift back together.

If you and your partner determine that your relationship is reparable, you both need to start putting forth more effort, making personal sacrifices, and most importantly, communicating on a regular basis when it comes to your status as a couple. Start by parting ways in the morning with a kiss, wishing your better half a great day, and offering small tokens of appreciation, like a packed lunch, an ironed shirt, or a promise to cook dinner.

Remember what drew you to each other in the first place, and focus on making each other happy in little ways. Respect, caring, and appreciation go a long way in rekindling romance. Conversely, if you mutually decide that the relationship has run its course, you should be able, as adults, to move on as maturely as possible.

Some relationships last a lifetime, but the truth is that most do not, so you should not feel guilty or place blame. You need to respect the limits of the relationship and realize that drifting apart can be one of the less traumatic ways relationships come to an end. Once you both agree on moving forward individually, you can then begin the discussion as to how and when the transition will transpire.

While breakups are unpleasant, even when we consciously desire them to happen, be aware that you are not the first nor the last person to experience one and that a good separation is better than a bad relationship. At the end of the day, you and your mate have to understand why you have drifted apart and if the distance is a symptom of internal or external factors.

If you have simply fallen out of love, move on; you both deserve to find true happiness. But if you really are working 70 hours a week, perhaps it’s time to take a vacation or cut back for the sake of the person you love.

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