He doesn’t believe in marriage. What now?

So you’ve finally met your Prince Charming, and visions of a fairy tale wedding are dancing through your head. It’s your dream come true, or is it? Realizing you’ve hitched your wagon to an unreachable star can seem more like a nightmare for most women. So what to do? When you first met your Prince Charming, the thought of asking him his views on marriage was unthinkable, and rightly so.

Nothing makes men run off faster than being prodded on this subject, especially this early in the relationship. So now that you know what he thinks, what’s your next move? Do you jump ship, or do you stick around and try to sway him? If you have to convince somebody that they really want to marry you it’s never going to work. Can you imagine if the tables were turned and you were the one that needed convincing?

Chances are you’d be none too eager to take a stroll down the aisle anytime soon. Whatever you do, do not try to trap him by sealing the deal, so to speak, by pretending you’re pregnant, or actually getting pregnant for real in order to elicit a proposal. This is just wrong, and it will surely blow up in your face if you do it. He’ll only resent you and quite possibly the child as well, if there really is one, for the rest of your lives together.

This is not how you want to start out your married life together. Accepting the truth and dealing with the inevitable is your best course of action. Anything else is madness. You can ask your significant other if his feelings are just for the time being, or for the foreseeable future. If he’s just not ready now, that’s one thing.

You’re entitled to ask him for a rough estimate on when he feels he might be comfortable with the idea of marriage, or if and when that day comes whether or not you’ll be included in his vision of marital bliss. But if he doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage at all, accept it for what it is and let it go.

Now that you know where you stand on the subject of marriage, it’s time to decide whether or not you’re willing to compromise your dreams for married life, or whether or not you should break up and find somebody more suitable and like minded. If you do choose to stay in the relationship don’t assume the role of martyr.

This will get you nowhere fast and leave you bitter in a hurry. If he’s said he’s not totally against it but he’s just not ready at this moment do not badger him about it. This just comes off as desperate and needy, which are not attractive qualities or attributes most people seek in a marriage partner, and chances are he’ll drag his feet even longer. Like it or not, it is what it is, take your time and find out how you feel.