A daily violence

It is usually a secret at home. The only witnesses are children who impotently watch one of their parents physically attack the other. Domestic violence is a social epidemic that only gets talked about out loud when something public happens, like football player Ray Rice attacking his wife.

These cases provide an opportunity to raise awareness about an issue that led to the deaths of 1,181 women in 2005. They give a chance to let victims know that they are not alone in this horrible situation, are not the ones to blame and did not do anything to deserve being hit by their partners.

Statistics show that one in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, and that one in three women killed dies at the hands of her partner or ex-partner.

The numbers reflect the magnitude of the problem, but the reality is worse. It is known for sure that the number of domestic violence cases reported is lower than the actual number. This gets worse in immigrant communities that include undocumented immigrants, where victims are afraid to turn to the authorities for fear of deportation.

Domestic violence against women has other particular characteristics among immigrants, whether because of lack of roots, the women being isolated at home in an unfamiliar society or the control that men want to exert over women because of a sexist culture.

It is important for victims of domestic violence to seek help. This issue lists places that they can turn to. It would be ideal for abusers to also learn how to handle family and external frustrations. Economic hardships, for example, increase the number of cases of domestic aggression.

Let’s not forget that children suffer more when they see violence between their parents than if the parents split up. Often, children repeat as adults in their homes what they saw happening between their parents when they were young.

Rice’s case has the high drama of involving a famous player and a video that causes outrage. On the other hand, behind closed doors, there is daily violence that preys on the family, hurts and at times kills.

We must keep the conversation going about this social problem, even when Rice disappears from the news, replaced by another event. Domestic violence is not going away with the football player.

To fight domestic violence, we must keep in mind that it exists, help the victims with legal resources and shelters, and provide access to mental health care for the aggressor and the victim. That is the challenge for all of society.